Condo Blues: My Dog Writes a Guest Post

Thursday, July 7, 2011

My Dog Writes a Guest Post

Hi Everyone, Blitzkrieg here. Lisa’s building something in the garage, which makes this the perfect opportunity to use her computer to say hi to all of my fans!

PhotobucketHi fans!

Actually, I have something real important to ask you.. This one’s important to me because I’ve lived it and it stinks. Not stinks in a good way like muddy pond water but stinks like rifling through somebody's trash and eating charcoal because I was stray kind of stinks.

I'm putting on my irresistible cute face 'cuz I need a favor.
Not that my life was any better after I got kicked out of my old house. The people who kept me – I refuse to call them owners because they were awful - used me as a punching bag. That’s why I have one eye. I’m missing a bunch of teeth too. When the nice rescue people found me, they gave me an operation to fix the hernia I got from them kicking and hitting me with books, brushes, and TV remote controls. I don't like to talk about it because my life is so much better now but it's important for you to know.

In my old house they said I was stupid, couldn’t be trained,  and a bad dog. It wasn’t me, they were bad humans! I’ll let you in on a little secret. We dogs LOVE rules, unlike most of you humans. We LIKE consistency even more. The bad humans didn't give me either. Of course I'm not going to behave if you keep giving me mixed signals on what's good and bad in your house! I don't know what's good or bad.

Little dogs like to have jobs just like the big dogs!
Least you forget, my first language is Pekingese, not English. I can’t learn what sit, stay, or come means if you don’t use the same commands over and over until I learn them in English.

Fortunately, my story has a happy ending. I walked into a very nice man’s yard and asked him for help. He called Lisa and Husband who took me home. They named me Blitzkrieg because they said I needed a tough guy name because I am a survivor.

It wasn’t until I knew my name that Lisa told Husband the Ramones song Blitzkrieg Bop inspired my name because he wouldn’t let her name me Meatwagon. She's sneaky, that one. Ya know, Meatwagon could totally be my middle name Lisa!

They even taught me how to play with toys!
I want all of my fellow rescues to find a really good home like mine. Lisa, Husband, and I went to a special school where my humans learned Pekingese and I learned English. I’m such a good dog that I get to go to festivals where the humans  celebrate art by dropping food on the ground. We go on really long car rides called vacations. Have you been on a vacation?! They are AWESOME! You take a long car ride, and get to mark all sorts of new places as yours, and the humans where funny history clothes, and they say dogs are welcome, and some of them have dog treats to give you! Williamsburgisthebestplaceever!

So if you could, for my fellow rescues who are still looking for their forever homes, would you please Like One. More. Thing. on Facebook?  From now through September for each new fan on the BISSELL's Facebook page Bissell will donate 50 cents to the Foundation toward its goal of contributing $50,000 total in 2011. 

Petfinder is an organization that works with animal shelters and rescue groups across North American to make sure no adoptable pet goes the Rainbow Bridge early for lack of a home. It is close to my heart because six years ago, that was me.

Thanks everyone!

PS: Oh and if you want to leave a comment telling Lisa she needs to have some freshly caught wild salmon steaks flown in from Alaska just for me, that’s cool too.

PPS: Not really on the salmon steaks. 'Cuz I get lots of treats and really good holistic, grain free food made with human grade ingredients around here. And lots of walks. I love walks! If you need to conserve your energy stick to the clicky thing on Facebook (if you wanna.)

PPPS: Nothing to say here other than things go better in threes. Three is a magic number.

Disclaimer: I didn’t get paid to write this post and neither did Lisa. She’s a total sap who will do anything to help a rescue animal find their forever home. For reals.

Did you enjoy this post? Get more like it by subscribing to the Condo Blues RSS Feed  or to Condo Blues by Email.


Mary said...

I'm so sorry about your unhappy beginnings, but very glad for you that your story has a happy ending! Lisa should let you write more often because you are very cute. Just so you'll know, my dogs and cat are all rescues, too, living the good life now. Thanks for spreading the word about the Bissell project and

Green Bean said...

Rescue dogs and cats RULE!!! Blitzkreig, can you tell Lisa to check out my post about writing Craigslist ads to save shelter animals. It is a great way for bloggers to save lives without leaving their computer.

Post a Comment

I love comments and read them all! If you’re shy and don’t want your opinions made public, you can always email me at condoblues [at] gmail [dot] com.