Condo Blues: I Built a Birdhouse. It's Kinda Insane.

Monday, June 6, 2011

I Built a Birdhouse. It's Kinda Insane.

I’ve been sitting on this news for so long, I’m surprised I haven’t burst by now! Craftsman tools asked me to teach a group of mom and dad bloggers how to use power tools at the Craftsman Blogger Summit this week!

Little ol’ ME!?


It’s part of my lifelong campaign to get women to stop making Honey Do lists and start making Do It Yourself Honey! lists.

Blitzkrieg thinks this is a silly goal and I should put my efforts into something nobler like world domination. *sigh* I really wish he would use his powers for good and not evil. I’m trying to teach him but it’s hard…

Enough about our family drama. You want to see my birdhouse, right?

To make things interesting, Craftsman asked the five instructors to build a birdhouse. The requirements are:

  1. The birdhouse must reflect your personality.
  2. The birdhouse cannot shoot fire. (bummer)

Here’s my birdhouse.

 It's not symmetrical on purpose. Really.

And here’s the obligatory Blitzkrieg posing with my project picture.

 My blog appearance contract states that Lisa has to put photos of me on Condo Blues because I know you all come here for pictures of me, not for her blathering about birdhouses.

Since my house is supposed to represent my personality, I designed a house that is playful and purposefully unsymmetrical because I color outside the lines of normal society. 

Or I read a lot of Dr. Seuss as a kid.

Or I drink too much Cuban coffee before I build birdhouses.

I dunno. You be the judge.

Which I guess you kinda are because Craftsman will upload the birdhouse photos to the Craftsman Facebook page  where a Like or a comment is a vote for the best one. The top two birdhouse builders will do a live build off at the Blogger’s Summit, something like Iron Chef but with power tools. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

The winner gets some super sweet Craftsman Storage products, which I could use because as of now my workbench is a couple of chairs on my patio. Side note: Patio chairs make lousy workbenches but I bet you already knew that.

95% of the materials I used to make my birdhouse I purchased at the Habitat Restore or had on hand. I knew from the start that I wanted to use as much reclaimed material as I could in my birdhouse since I try to use and reuse life's castoffs to make things that are clever, useful or beautiful.

 I know Lisa is crazy. I'd have her committed but she bakes me dog treats.

The square window at the bottom of the house is for the family dog because we all know dogs like to look out windows.

The wooden pink flamingo button represents my love for that wacky bird and came from my button box. In my old rental, Husband and I had to deal with a bathroom with 80's pink wallpaper. We could not change it. We celebrated it instead with a flamingo shower curtain and pink lawn flamingos inside the house as part of the joke. Friends nicknamed that room The John Waters Memorial Bathroom after his movie Pink Flamingos.

Watch Me on The Craftsman Experience!

I’m taping an interview with Frank Fontana (remember him from HGTV’s Design on a Dime?) for the Down and Dirty with Frank Fontana web show. Please watch me in that “Mom! Mom! Mom! Watch me! Are you watching? MOOOOOOOOOM! WATCH ME!” *kid slides down the playground slide* way because I'm not sure if my mom can watch and I really would like to have someone in my corner.

You can send emails and comments later and tell me what a colossal dork I am on camera and that I should concentrate on gigs that keep me behind the camera and not in front of it. How's that for extra incentive?

If  you’d like to send a tweet to get the word out that would add a big dollop of awesome sauce to this experience. I created a tweet for you if you are in the Tweeting or Facebooking mood. All you have to do is copy and paste - easy!

Watch @condoblues on @CraftsmanClub Down and Dirty with Frank Fontana June 9 7pm CST

My episode will air this Thursday, June 9, 2011 7:00 PM Central Standard Time. The show will have interviews with me and the other instructors. We’re going to talk about how a 4’ 11” girly girl came to love playing with jackhammers (still the Best. Day. Ever!) a bit about the project that I designed and will teach at The Craftsman Experience, and my wackadoo birdhouse.

Will you watch?

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