Condo Blues: haiku friday




Showing posts with label haiku friday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label haiku friday. Show all posts

Sunday, April 12, 2015

How to Make Reusable Rosacea Makeup Remover Wipes

April is Rosacea Awareness Month. Although for me the horrible scars on my forehead that I shamefully hide with my bangs reminds me that every day is Rosacea Awareness Month.

You can’t cure rosacea (bummer) but you can control it and minimize breakouts and flares. The problem is that everyone who has rosacea may have different things that trigger it and it may not respond to the exact same treatment for every person who has it (another bummer.)

In my personal experience, the only way I got my disfiguring rosacea under control was with a specialist dermatologist after years of trying every home acne treatment I could find. Once my doctor got my skin cleared up with medication, we moved on to ways I can reduce my rosacea flares without meds.




make rosasea makeup remover pads



Before we go any further, let me remind you that I’m not a doctor. I strongly suggest that you see a dermatologist if you have acne that never goes away or you suspect your constant red face is rosacea.

The National Rosacea Society has some good information and resources if you need them.  This isn't an ad. I find them helpful if I have a question in between doctor's appointments.

Friday, February 20, 2009

I’m Going to BlogHer ’09!



Going to BlogHer
Wrangling mics, greening conferences
Will I see you there?

That’s right kids, this July I’m packing up my bags and going to BlogHer ‘09. But me being me, I can’t just attend a conference. Oh no. I have to get involved in some way. So, I volunteered to use my mad podcasting skillz and will be a Mic Wrangler during the conference. What does that mean? Well, it means that if you want to ask a question or make a comment during one of conference sessions some woman who is fleet of foot is going to sidle up to you and thrust a microphone into your face so you can make your voice heard during the conference and be recorded for the conference sessions’ podcasts. And one of those fleet of foot women might just be me! So make sure you say a big “Hi Lisa!” or “Hi Condo!” to me during the conference!

I'm Going to BlogHer '09

Friday, November 21, 2008

Have You Ever Put An Active Dog On Complete Bed Rest? It’s Not Easy…



cat ball muzzle on
makes dog look like Spaceman Spiff
all to check his back



Blitzkrieg is a very active little dog. And he’s smart. He knows tons of tricks sit, speak, down, wait, shake, and high 5 with his left and right (blind side thankyouverymuch) paw and the favorite of the neighborhood kids, dance on his hind legs, which Peke people commonly refer to as The Pekingese Dance. Teaching Blitzkrieg these behaviors has helped us use positive reinforcement training turn the shy and fear aggressive abused dog we rescued into the confident and well-adjusted goofball we have today. One of the Blitzkrieg Rules is that if Blitzkrieg wants to join a human who is already sitting on the sofa then he has to “ask” permission by sitting first before the human (me) tells him “OK, hup”. This is Blitzkrieg’s cue to jump up on the sofa for a good snuggle.
As of last Saturday, Blitzkrieg couldn’t hup.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Kitchen Décor That Only Norman Bates Could Love

Haiku Friday

Bad Idea Bears visit
while I drool at décor ideas
Look! Norman Bates’ house

I’m absent-mindedly looking around online for items that I could use to decorate The Condo for Halloween. And wouldn’t you know it, the Bad Idea Bears showed up and tried to convince me to buy a bunch of weird stuff and redecorate.



Bad Idea Bears: These items all go together; you could use them all to decorate your kitchen! Don’t pay attention to what Kenneth Brown says in his TV show Over Designed. Theme kitchens are very in this year.

Me: Well yeah, if you’re some homicidal nutcase like Serial Mom or Norman Bates from the movie Psycho! No. I’m not doing a CSI kitchen theme in the Condo.

Bad Idea Bears: (Batting their eyelashes and looking excessively cute) Pleeeeeese!

Me: Weeeell. I suppose I could blog about it. I haven’t done a design-centered post in awhile. It’s October and time to plan for Halloween. And I am feeling kinda cheeky…

Bad Idea Bears: Yaaaaaay!

So let’s take a look at how Norman Bates may decorate his kitchen if we wanted to proudly proclaim to the world that he is in fact, a psycho nut job. (And before you ask, no. I don’t seriously recommend decorating a house in this theme. I’m just trying to appease the Bad Idea Bears and my Inner Brat after having a not so great week.)

Let’s have some fun, shall we?

Scene: Day

Setting: The kitchen of the Psycho house on the Universal Studios lot. Where else?


(Norman Bates walks into the back door of his house and into the kitchen after a hard day of work at the Bates hotel. Norman fumbles in the dark for the Hanging Harry Light Pull and turns on the overhead kitchen light.)

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(Then Norman puts on a manly black chef’s apron and begins to prepare a sumptuous meal for his mother.)

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He decides to make stir fry. That involves chopping a lot of vegetables. Fortunately, for Norman he has a fondness for kitchen knives and the Ex Knife Holder.

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In fact, Norman likes to chop things up so much that keeps around two sets of knives in his kitchen! When a situation demands a good hack, slash, or chop, he knows he can count on the knives in his Throwzini knife holder.

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Norman thinks Mother may be a little peckish after sitting in the basement all day. He decides to make her some hors d'oeuvres and looks for the Pound party picks.

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Norman: Oh goodness! The party picks are in the dishwasher. I can’t use dirty party picks. Mother would not approve. I suppose I’ll serve her a plate of cheese cubes instead. Now, where did I put the OUCH! Voodoo doll toothpick holder? Oh there it is!


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SFX: the telephone rings. (Norman puts his cup of tea (hemlock, perhaps?) on a Splat Stan Coaster. He answers the telephone.)

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(Norman grabs a pen from his Dead Fred Penholder, writes something on a piece of paper, and hangs up the telephone.)

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Norman: (calling to his Mother off screen) Mother! I have to go. Janet Leigh is going to check into the hotel tonight. After I deal with her, we’ll set down to a nice dinner and watch a nice wholesome family movie like Grindhouse, OK?
End of Scene

Welcome to the inner workings of my mind. For the record, no amount of prescription medication or therapy makes the Bad Idea Bears go away. Sometimes you just gotta roll with it. That’s a fact.

Friday, September 12, 2008

My New Blogging Gig!

Capessa Blogger
Sustainable Style I write
my new blogging gig

Today is Friday and no one is singing the blues in this Condo Today. For three very wonderful reasons:

Happy Reason 1: Next week, I'm running my very first contest here on Condo Blues. It's sponsored by a great company (no relation whatsoever to the entities I will touch on in Happy Reason Number 3) and I hope that everyone comes back to me September 12-19 to get in on this great giveaway. I hope that this contest is the first of many yet to come.


Happy Reason 2: It's raining! My parched plants are very grateful for today's rain although I hate that it's at the expense of my family, friends, and readers that are in the path of Hurricane Ike. I'm especially concerned for Forced Green whose hurricane survival plans include either lashing herself to a big tree in her yard or moving to the moon because she's so sick and tired of hurricanes and hurricane season. I only hope that if she chooses the tree option that the hurricane (or possible resulting tornado) doesn't blow her and the tree to the Land of Oz. If it does, then I hope she brings us all back sweets from The Lollipop Guild or a pair of swanky new shoes. I hear Oz is a great place for shoe shopping. Just ask Dorothy Gale.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Put Away the White Shoes, It’s Labor Day!





Labor Day is here
should I keep wearing white shoes?
Serial Mom says no

Ah, Labor Day. Time to say good-bye to summer (my favorite season), hi to fall, and a big HELLO GORGEOUS to the Labor Day sales at the home improvement stores!

I also say a little sad good bye to kicky summer sandals, even the white ones. Now, I was taught that you shouldn’t wear white shoes after Labor Day. Apparently, arbiters of What Not to Wear fashion Staci and Clinton disagree. They say you can wear white shoes after Labor Day.

Fashion, like home decorating and design ebbs and flows. Things change. Over time what’s in goes out, what’s out is in, up is down, black is white. I get it. Therefore, I’d be willing to give the white shoes after Labor Day thing a chance if it weren’t for one thing. The movie Serial Mom.

The woman scares me to bits. Come on. You have to remember how John Water’s seemly sweet and perfect homemaker Beverly Sutphin (played by the amazing Kathleen Turner) was really a raging sociopath who humorously and violently offed her neighbors for such heinous offenses as not recycling. She bludgeoned a woman with a leg of lamb for not rewinding a rented videotape (hey, the movie was made in 1994 way before Netflix.) And then Beverly gets even with a juror who commits the sin of continually wearing white shoes after Labor Day during her trial.

Remember?!!

Friday, May 30, 2008

How Not to Groom a Pekingese

Haiku Friday
itchy sneezey dog
vets says let’s see some pink skin
sad naked Peke now

Blitzkrieg is allergic to corn and wheat. Once I switched him to an allergy free diet, Blitzkrieg stopped power scratching. The hair grew back on the bald spot he made from scratching himself so much and his temperament improved. (Anecdotal evidence suggests that a corn free diet helps dogs with fear or aggression issues.) In other words, as long as I kept Blitzkrieg away from corn and wheat, he was itch free and life was good. It’s difficult because both corn and wheat are in almost every dog food or treat out there, from the cheapo doggie junk food brands to the expensive made with human-quality ingredients brands, but the benefits are definitely worth the truble.

Last spring, Blitzkrieg started scratching himself with a vengeance again. A trip to the veterinarian was in order. After a through exam (which Blitzkrieg absolutely hated) the vet suggested that we shave do a “therapeutic shave down” so we could see if Blitzkrieg had some sort of rash or lesion that may be the cause of the new itching and scratching. I agreed.


This is what I dropped off at the vet/groomers.
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This is what I picked up later that day.

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I had a naked dog! I honestly didn’t recognize Blitzkrieg when they brought him to me at the vet’s office. He looked like some weird mutant Pug! He wasn’t scratching himself anymore, but he sure was pissed off at me for doing this to him.

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Thankfully, Blitzkrieg’s condition was nothing serious. The vet said Blitzkrieg has seasonal allergies that we easily treat with medication during the pollen season.

Eventually we all adjusted to the mutant dog haircut. Blitzkrieg came to terms with it once he went to agility class and realized that he was able to run across the dog walk and not pant as much afterward. Pekingese and other brachycephalic breeds (smash faced dogs) are more susceptible to heatstroke than their non-smash faced dog brethren. I took advantage of Blitzkrieg’s severe summer ‘do and took him to a few more summer festivals than in previous years because I didn’t have to worry as much about Blitzkrieg overheating and getting heatstroke in the summer sun.
In addition, I got some interesting comments about my freaky little Peke. My personal favorite came from a drunk guy at a music festival who yelled a crossed a parking lot at me, “Hey! Your dog sure has a big dick!” How do you answer that one? Do you answer that one? If so, what is the polite thing to say? “Um…thank you?”

Lately, friends and neighbors are asking me if I’m going to shave Blitzkrieg for the summer again. I’m not sure. Before we rescued and rehabilited Blitzkrieg, he was beaten when he was groomed. That’s why our boy is missing an eye and some teeth. The shave down allowed me under a behaviorist’ guidance to work with Blitzkrieg through his fear of being hit on the hindquarters with a hairbrush. Now when I even say the word brush, it sends Blitzkrieg into a happy tizzy because it means he has a chance to earn treats. (That's a very good problem to have, in my book.) However, the sound of clippers still terrifies him. The vet had to sedate Blitzkrieg last summer before the groomer could groom him. I want to spare Blitzkrieg as much doggie trauma as I can.

Therefore, the springtime dilemma is to decide whether I should or should not cut Blitzkrieg’s coat for summer. Then, if I do decide the boy needs a haircut, how short do I go? My childhood dogs were strictly wash and wear. Double coated dog grooming is still new to me. What do you do with your double-coated dogs in summer?

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Friday, May 23, 2008

Scare Your Neighbors with Garden Decorations!


shiny ball gone
replacement décor follows
yard to scare neighbors?

An unknown mischievous brat darling neighborhood cherub smashed the gazing ball I put in my front flowerbeds for height. I did some shopping around Design Toscano for a replacement garden decoration. I didn’t find a replacement for my gazing ball, but I did find some garden décor that would scare my neighbors.
Nothing says, “Welcome to My Home” like a two foot tall Garden Yeti!



Friday, May 9, 2008

How to Make a Bottle Cap Tile Picture Frame

Every Friday Husband and I have a TGIF ritual. We drink a few dark craftbeers to celebrate that fact that we both made it through yet another often-crazy week. 

One Friday I came back from Trader Joe’s with a six-pack of Sea Dog Porter (because unlike college days, it’s all about the quality, not the quantity of the beer.) Husband jokingly accused me of buying Sea Dog because of its paw print bottle caps. He asked me if it was some sort of homage to Blitzkrieg.

Busted.

Then Husband says, "These bottle caps are cool though. I bet you could do something with these." So I did.



My apologies for the photo quality, I had to use my phone for this photo.

How to Make a Bottle Cap Tile Picture Frame

Friday, May 2, 2008

Haiku Friday: Celebrate May Day and Beltane!

Haiku Friday


Beltane marks spring
jesters dance round May Pole ribbons
flower baskets bloom

May Day makes me feel nostalgic. Not for the coffee filter flowers I made for May Day baskets when I was a child but for the May Pole dances and brightly colored clothes of Beltane. My inner child loves Beltane. Why? Because once upon a time I was a professional jester.

Need Proof?

I designed and drafted the pattern for my favorite jester costume, hat, and props. I appliqued blue ribbon in a Celtic knot pattern at the bottom of the top skirt. The top skirt are overlapping panels that fly straight out when I turn.


Friday, April 18, 2008

How Make anl Ironing Board Cover

The cover on my ironing board was stained. It never stayed on the ironing board when I was trying to iron something. I needed a replacement but never remembered to buy one. That was until I saw some flaming skull fabric at Joann Fabrics. "Hey!"says I, "I could make a new ironing board cover out of that fabric using my old ironing board cover as a pattern." So I did.

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Here's how I made my ironing board cover.