Condo Blues: humor




Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Craft Fail, the Book!

craft fail book

In my crafting and DIY life, I have projects that come together just as I imagined. If I am really lucky, the beauty photograph comes out on the first few tries and I look like a clever, clever girl.
More often than not, in between the coming up with a crazy scheme stage and the perfect beauty shot stage there is an epic fail stage like the time I tried to make homemade shaving cream and it exploded all over my kitchen.


The fuzzy spots in the photo are shaving cream on my camera lens.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

How to Make a Fluffy No Sew Tutu

I need a costume for a performance. I came up with a costume idea with a kooky Dresden Dolls, Steampunk, Katy Perry, vaudeville kind of vibe. Best of all I my costume includes a tutu!

I have always wanted to dance in a tutu as a kid but unfortunately modern dancers don't do the tutu. Sorry Martha Graham, this gal is making her long denied tutu dreams come true!



Thursday, September 25, 2014

9 Things to Do When Your Bathroom Floods

This was supposed to be a post about how I fixed the leaking faucet I found during my grout the bathroom tile project.

Instead it turned into a how to dry out a flooded bathroom and kitchen post.

nine things to do when your bathroom floods
 Pin this post to your Pinterest boards for later. Share it with your friends!

Monday, September 15, 2014

No Sew Halloween Apron

My sister and I are foodies. We often send each other email with the subject line MAKE THIS and a recipe. During one of our conversations the subject turned to food, as it usually does, and how cooking messes can ruin clothes.

There is a solution for that. It’s called an apron.




Halloween is my sister’s favorite holiday. We share the same warped sense of humor. I made her a no sew apron I know she’ll wear for Halloween and quite possibly during the rest of the year to serve as a funny warning to others.

Don’t Make Me Poison Your Dinner Apron

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Guardians of the Galaxy Craft Awesome Mix Tape USB Flash Drive

Marvel released a new superhero movie and of course Husband has seen Guardians of the Galaxy multiple times. Me too.

I didn't' know much if anything about Guardians of the Galaxy until Husband dug out an old Guardians comic book for me to read before we saw the movie. The Guardians in the movie are the same bunch of space jerks as they are in the comic books. The only difference is the movie has a much better soundtrack due to Peter Quill's mom making her son a real live 1980's style mix tape. Peter (aka Star Lord) he plays it in his Sony Walkman as he roams the galaxy.

  Yep, that's a TARDIS USB hub on my desk! Many of you asked where I got it. I bought my USB TARDIS hub from Amazon here.


We have a USB port in our car, not a cassette player. The only way we can play Peter's Awesome Mix Vol 1. is if I decorate a thumb storage drive as an  Awesome Mix Volume One cassette tape.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

How to Pad and Tape a Color Guard Rifle

The same band I marched with in in the Presidential Inauguration Parade last year has another amazing performance opportunity. I’m stoked to be spinning flag in a real blow and go drum and bugle corps style show since that is absolutely not the type of show my small town marching band did and my drum corps loving heart desired. YES! *fist pump*

Then I found out the color guard is twirling rifle too. I haven’t done that since high school winter color guard.

Gulp!

I bought a color guard rifle which is basically a big hunk of non firing wood in a rifle-esque shape. Before I practice throwing it in the air like I don’t care (as one does when spinning rifle) I need to reinforce the rifle with tape and pad the ends so it won’t break in two if when I drop it during practice.



Thursday, July 31, 2014

How to Purge and Recycle Old Electronics

I swear our house is shrinking. Once upon a time, had storage space to burn. (Don’t. It wastes a perfectly good space and might catch the rest of your house on fire.)

It didn’t take any great detective work to determine why our house is shrinking. The answer is easy.



We have stuff we don’t think/aren’t sure if there is a place to recycle or responsibly dispose of it. The last time I checked this wasn't the case, or if there was such an animal, it was only accepted those things on that one day during a full moon when cows do backward sneezes kind of thing. Hello hazardous household waste collection, I’m talking to you.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

How to Fix a Hole in Shorts without Sewing!

All of my summer shorts are too big after I met my weight loss goal. It is a nice problem to have.

Fortunately, I had a couple of pairs of pants lurking in the back of my closet that make better shorts than pants. It didn’t take much time or effort to cut and hem the pants into shorts (learn how I make pants into shorts here.) It is a trick my mom used when I blew out a knee on a pair of pants or jeans as a kid. Boom. I got a new pair of shorts.



Green. Cheap. And most importantly, I had the perfect pair of shorts that weren’t too short or too long. 

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Our Getaway to Put-in-Bay

While Lacey’s separation anxiety is a wee bit better, but it still goes to orange alert level often enough that Husband and I haven’t taken a vacation since she joined our family.

WE NEED A VACATION.

I suggested we go to Put-in-Bay. It is close enough to go home early if we need to and still far enough away that it is Not Home.

This trip also fixes a hideous wrong I committed while growing up in on Lake Erie. I have never actually been to the Lake Erie Islands. I think I broke a local ordinance or something.

Whoops.

We knew we wanted to visit both islands. I wasn’t sure which one we should stay on. I arbitrarily picked staying on Put-in-Bay and I’m glad I did.

There were more things we were interested in doing on Put-in-Bay although I had to fulfill a childhood science class obligation and take a day trip to Kelley’s Island.

Every single science teacher used the Great Lakes and the Kelley’s Island Glacial Groves as an example of how the glaciers changed the landscape after the they receded. I finally saw them in person!

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Viking Ship Dining Room Table


THIS.

10368252_10152506903297943_2186483829818857232_n
I do not have a source for this photo. If it is your photo or if you know the source of the photo please let me know so I can credit this epic table of awesomeness.

WANT.

Update: 9/10/14 Reader Mia gave me the source of the artist who created this beautiful Viking long boat table. UNIKA-Rógvi í Bø, design and craft is the artist and craftsman of this stunning work.

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Wednesday, July 2, 2014

20 Super Fun Super Sized Outdoor Games

I played a lot of board games as a kid. Between my friends and I, we had and played all of the major games from Candyland to Ants in the Pants to Stratego. (Disclosure: I am included big bold affiliate links in this post for your convenience.)

That’s why I love this trend of super sizing childhood games and playing them outside.  If you want ideas on what outdoor games to play at your next cookout or BBQ, think back to the board games you loved to play as a kid and make it giant size!

 Pin these backyard game ideas to your Pinterest boards for later! Share them with your friends!



20 Big Backyard Games


Thursday, June 19, 2014

DIY Personalized Insulated Wine Glass Tumblers

Husband’s family likes to get together in the summer for a family reunion. Grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles gather for good times and good food. Every night the adults open a bottle of wine start a round of Euchre. Playing cards is our excuse to stay up way too late telling stories and busting a gut laughing at each other’s jokes. I’m so glad I married into this family.

I bought a reusable BPA free insulated wine glass tumbler to use instead of a disposable cup for the reunion. I want to personalize my insulated tumbler so I know which one is mine at the party.

DIYinsulatedwineglasstumbler
Decorated insulated wine glass tumblers: Mommy’s Special Lemonade, Oh No! My glass is empty! It’s an Emergency! Quick, call WINE-ONE-ONE!, Mommy’s Sippy Cup, and If you met my family you’d understand.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Minion Cell Phone Holder

I’m famous for asking people to call my phone because I can’t remember where I put it after I take it out of my purse. It’s kind of important to keep track of it since my cell phone is also my home phone.

Stuart (my favorite Despicable Me minion!) offered to help me out and allow me to make him into a Happy Meal toy cell phone stand. Stuart came into my life last summer when Christina from A Mommy Story and I did a Thelma and Louise road trip to Blogher last summer.

DIYminioncellphonestand


Well, we were just like them if Thelma and Louise drove an SUV and the wildest thing they did was stop at McDonalds for lunch and Stuarts and not share them with children. Then yeah, that’s us.


How to Make an Action Figure Cell Phone, Ereader, or Tablet Stand

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Decoupage Bed Makeover

I’m decorating and making over the Room Where Old Furniture Goes to Die. Some people call it the guest/craft room but not many.

modpodgebedmakeover

I made over an old bed frame with Mod Page and paint!

The guest bed frame was a freebie from my old boss. It needed a little DIY love. Scratch that. The bed needed A LOT of DIY love. I knew the stain was chipped and scratched but I didn’t realize there were small cracks in the head and foot boards. The side rails were pretty beat up too.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

I Hate Winter Cabin Fever Indoor Beach Party: Décor

We. Are. Going. Stir. Crazy!

The Winter That Will Not End is giving Husband and I have a serious case of Cabin Fever. We’ve had to cancel a lot of activities due to white out conditions and icy roads.

WinterBeachPartydecorcrafts


Even Lacey is feeling it. Poor thing hasn’t had a proper walk in weeks due to the snow and dangerously low temperatures.

Husband decided to spice things up by sharing his cold with me. Now I’m fighting Cabin Fever AND a cold – blah! 


We can’t make a quick trip South to soak up some sun because you guys are getting are getting it too.
Complaining about it won’t make the winter blahs go away either.


I’m fighting Cabin Fever the only way I know how.


I’m making fun of it!


I’m inviting your to a n I’m Tired of Winter Let’s Have a Beach Party party on my blogs Condo Blues and Lazy Budget Chef!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

How to Make a Ho Ho Ho Christmas House Flag

 I like to hang a flag as part of my outdoor Christmas décor because it helps my guests identify my house in a neighborhood where most of the houses look a like.

I usually go with flying the Dannenberg at Christmas per Danish tradition. Unfortunately, my Danish flag has flown more than its share of holidays and birthdays (another Danish tradition) and needs to be replaced.
Lacey’s first Christmas with us is the perfect time to start a new Christmas flag tradition.


geekchristmasflag
I didn’t say it was a good tradition, just a  new and funny one.

I used fabric I had on hand to replace my nylon flag with a cloth homemade Christmas flag.  I used a little bit of mathematical/scientific/geek shorthand to make Ho cubed because I didn’t have room for Ho, Ho, Ho.

Husband didn’t buy that excuse either.

Then we had a comic in depth discussion on the correct way to Ho, Ho, Ho. I say it should be mathematical, Ho cubed. Husband argued it should be scientific notation H three O three.


How to Make a Geek Christmas Flag

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Drop Cloth Patio Chair Covers

It only took me 8 years to realize I should do something to protect the chairs on my front porch from rain and winter snow unless I want to keep making my chairs over every two years or so.

That is not a difficult thing to do. But I’d rather spend that time working on a new project, like helping our girl Lacey become a balanced and confident dog. That project gives kisses!

dropclothpatiochaircover



My chair projects do not give me kisses.

Sad Lisa Sad smile

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Highball Halloween Party!

Happy Halloween!

Today is one our favorite holidays because it is all about frivolous fun. I got my costumer on and made a rare set of matching costumes for Husband and I to wear to this year’s Highball Halloween party. We were Raving Rabbids!


RavingRabbidscostumes
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!

I’m glad I made our full length Rabbid suits from fleece. It was freezing that night!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Topsy Turvey Bookcases

I was beyond happy when we bought our house and replaced our mish mosh of overflowing bookshelves with one wall of matching bookshelves in our computer room.  Seeing all of our books in one place made me giddy.

Then we bought more books.

And a few more.

And a few more.

We could use more shelves.

I started poking around for arty book shelves because it is way more fun than sorting through and donating our old and outdated books. Yes, yes. I’ll get to it. It is on the punch list for our computer room revamp project.

In the meantime, let’s have some fun and check out some crazy fun bookshelves. For what they don’t hold in the amount of stuff, they make up for in the amount of whimsy they add to a room.

I can’t help but look at the Woodcurve Curved Bookshelf  and smile. This piece was inspired by the Dr. Seuss books as are several of the pieces in Woodcurve’s Etsy shop.


Woodcurvebookcase
Warning: Curves Ahead!

Sunday, October 20, 2013

21 Ways to Decorate Real Halloween Pumpkins

Husband suggested I bump up my Halloween décor for Lacey since it is her first Halloween with us.

pumpkinlacey
ALL of these are for me to eat?!


That’s right. He said for Lacey.

It’s not like the guy likes Halloween or pumpkins or manipulating me into doing something he wants for Lacey (and I certainly do not do this on him because it works 100% of the time on both of us.)


I usually keep the pumpkins plain because I bake, puree, and freeze our pumpkins after Halloween. Cute but not as festive.